PRINCE TOP TRAINING TIP: The Night Open Water Swim with Container Ships

Once you have learned to swim using the Prince Method and not the "stupid idiot" technique known as Total Immersion (see below on Prince’s method vs Terry Loughlin’s TI Method 12/09), competitive open water swimming then becomes all about “navigation, navigation and navigation”. Prince compels you to undertake a weekly 3,000 meter pitch black night swim around your local container port. In the dark water you pick up and learn a bat-esque mental positioning skill system to navigate between way-points, thus perfect for triathlon buoy to buoy swim preparation. Prince recommends his local Odaiba Container Port as generally there are a lot of drift items such as old nets and floating diesel cans that act as if the usual triathlon entanglement with other swimmers. Luckily the only boats which can get in your way are large ships which wash you off the bow with a significant wake wave and thus it is impossible to be run over and sliced up by a propeller the size of a small motorway service station. For this reason, ignore the ships, use the new swimming MP3 player made by Finus, stay in your endorphin trance music zone, and enjoy only the sudden surprise opportunities of body surfing down a steel hull from time to time. It is like being hit by a freak wave in every triathlon. According to founder of “the Lets Swim at Night with Container Ships Concept”, Prince trained athlete Jiro Kashiwagi comments: "one can also take comfort that the Japanese custom of whale and mammal harpooning is banned in ports". Never carry a marker light with you as this is contrary to international maritime treaties which states that only ships and land hazards can be illuminated. Once you have mastered the mental radar you will find on race day that you will never have to use TI’s “sighting” method (head raising to see buoys) again, saving you an estimated 176 seconds on a 1500M open water course. "Sighting is very anti hydrodynamic as one sinks and stops dead in water" the great poodle states. Above pictures are looking towards Tokyo from Odaiba container terminal, Tokyo; (left top) is Prince and CP in wetsuits waiting for pitch black, and (right bottom) is Prince and CP later that night, completely unseen swimming across a shipping lane. Prince concludes: "it seems as if you will die in the shipping lane, but the bastards just are no match for the Prince Method - go for it...."

SHOCKING PRINCE RESEARCH: Cats Prove Faster than Dogs in Unique Wind Tunnel Experiment

Coach Prince Pari, the exceptionally clever triathlon poodle recently rented Subaru’s Gunma prefecture Yen 117,000 per hour wind tunnel to relish how much faster and aerodynamic he, a majestic poodle is, than his arch enemy, Kitty (‘a pathetic iriomote-shima mountain cat’). Picture (below) is of Kitty lashed to handlebars behind a cocksure Prince. Using Prince's time trial bike, Prince was shocked that Kitty’s personal cycling tuck position had a coefficient of CD.0734 less (i.e. quicker) than Prince’s aero tuck. This means Kitty would be approximately 137 seconds faster with same leg power (wattage) output over a 40 km bicycle time trial race. Prince was gutted and will now not be publishing the results in his new book “Prince: Puppy to Demigod”, under the chapter: “Poodles are Spartans” as his stupid master forgot to cut his claws before the experiment. Prince stated, “my claws were bleeding due to wind drag obstruction and one paw nearly blew off completely, and the only scientific finding from the test I Prince would give to athletes is if you (humans) don’t cut your nails on race day it could take 15 minutes off your 40km time trial potential and your whole hand risks blowing right off!” Subaru responded that: “our wind tunnel is not dangerous at the wind speeds of up to 43 km/h (or even 2 x that) which Kitty and Prince experienced”. A source close to the great poodle stated: "Kitty will not be appearing on Prince's website again, and clearly a good manicure could be the difference between a podium finish, and a DNF in a casualty ward as an accidental turbulence amputee ".

PRINCE NEWS: Prince Reveals Plans for Electrically Fast, Post Modern, Triathlon, Sporting Couture Line“LE PRINCE”

Coach Prince Pari has allowed some of his fusion Zen-Lolita Punk-Araki artistic vision to embrace his own sportswear label to be called “le Prince”. In below video Prince models himself at launch in a “le Prince” track suit with hood that sports; his “to be” renowned two stripes, and le Prince gothic calligraphic logo, in a Mazda sports car, with two J chicks, under mount Fiji on New Year’s Day 2010. His next piece is to be a Le Prince couture, wind tunnel tested, aerodynamic tear drop sculpted, light weight carbon fiber running skirt with matching sports aero bra, both sporting the “to be” renowned Two Stripes of Prince logo. Prince states: “Prince is not retro, because Prince is today’s unique zeitgeist of fashion, and the embodiment of a poodle epoch of fast aero clothing that will make athletes run like a typhoon.” Prince fan Yuko Ogura (right) is gaging to model. Colliers Halifax in Tokyo are currently searching for his flagship Kiosk in Shibuya.

PRINCE REVIEW: The Stupendous New Newton Shoe

The Newton shoe is such a dashingly unprecedented running shoe development that poodle wonder Prince out of sheer excitement bit the shoe in half(see video below). The basis of the shoe is what Prince has always promoted; helping forefoot running and developing perfect technique through the PrinceMethod. Forefoot running is natural for humans, as Prince explains in his book, try running heel toe with barefeet. The sole of the shoe has 4 mohicans protruding out that rebound your forefoot as if a spring. The PrinceMethod® of running and most good modern treatises on the topic (including Romanov’s POSE method) of natural forefoot running have always theorized after having analyzed pictures/simulations of poodles in flight. The four Mohican design is obviously based on poodle paw pads.

Prince and his admirers had a day of testing the shoe with Michael Trees, Newton promoter, poodle fancier and British Triathlon record holder in Yoyogi Park, Tokyo, 23^rd January 2010. The shoe requires natural poodle running by athletes as per the original picture Romanov analyzed (to the right) in the 1970’s (note not cool retro poodle haircut), with correct high knee lift, a slight lean forward and forefoot (or forefeet as with poodle) landing, quiet ninja movement, high cadence and rear foot (feet for poodles) rebounding push off.

This Newton shoe allows for an average of 33 seconds reduction per 10,000 meters of running and is the dream shoe for the visionaries of forefoot running: Michael Trees, Professor Romanov of the POSE Method, Zola Budd and of course, Prince Pari of the PrinceMethod. Prince stated: “ I would like to propose a toast to myself for what I have done for sport globally”. A brilliantly concise Japanese translation is below:

日本語概要：プリンスのお陰で世界の中で一番早くて最高に走る靴が新発明された. プリンス万歳！

PRINCE STUDENT RACE REPORT: Prince's Student Hailed by Japan's No1 Triathlete after Yokota Half Marathon

Coach Prince's student, Parry successfully keeps up with pace-making Japanese Legend Taro Shirato at the January 17th 2010 Frostbite half marathon in the Yokota US army airbase. After 13 months out injured due to a freak running accident involving a Pekingese dog in the 2008 Buenos Aires Marathon, it was a delightful result for Prince's athlete Parry to finish just 2 minutes behind the great man [Taro Shirato]. Coach Prince stated: "They (US Military Police) would not let poodles or afghan hounds in the base so I brooded my personal Jihad against the base while on the local beach having missed this Epic race." Parry stated:" I think Prince's recommended Newton Shoe helped; a shoe endorsed by the Prince Method and the legend [Taro Shirato].

Taro Shirato posted on his website a celebratory picture with Parry after the race and stated:

"途中、一緒に走っていたクリスと記念撮影。アスロニアのメンバーでトライアスリートの彼はなかなかポテンシャル高い！"

This translates: "We ran the race together most of the way and this Athlonia Club athlete has amazing potential to win some Triathlons".

Parry's Coach Prince's stock is rising by the week. Another of Prince's athletes; Parnell recently took 3^rd place in the Antarctic Ice Marathon (read below).

PRINCE METHOD BOOK EXTRACT: lazy bastards!

"If you are a lazy bastard - You will excel in this sport" Coach Prince Pari Quote

The below is an Extract from my (Prince's) forthcoming book on the Prince Method®:

"Admirably, energetic and efficient people do many productive and selfless things but are utterly pathetic at the individual pursuits of marathon and triathlon.

It is those that have the desire to feel good about doing absolutely nothing for at least 97% of the day after one short (not long) high intensity work out that succeeds at marathon and triathlon.

What makes it worse is that the lazy bastard runners and endurance sports athletes in general feel smug about this, and that they deserve a 2 hour bath and to watch 3 DVDs with tea and biscuits just because they exerted themselves close to maximum heart rate while others merely emptied the dish washer. Road runners are the worst and that is why everyone hates them.

Prince Pari's research shows the recovery incurred by being lazy bastards from doing nothing allows for superior performance in their racing and daily 20 to 200 mins of high heart rate workout. The stables that create the current running greats from Kenya and Ethiopia have adopted this Prince Method® principle years ago. Even more radical than the East Africans method is that I Prince call on us all to down a bottle of claret a night for carbo loading and anti oxidants, ideally drunk in an altitude tent.

RunnersWorld magazine, which I Prince deplore, have however adopted (plagiarized) my thoughts in a published work called "RUN LESS, RUN FASTER" which proves what I Prince have always stated: "By learning the habits of a lazy bastard, you will be faster".

"Basically if you are not a boozing lazy bastard, have no cash for an altitude tent and are not a self righteous exercise fascist, get out of our endurance multi sports." Coach Prince Pari Quote

PRINCE NEWS: Sensationally the great Pinarelli Bike Company dedicate their 2010 bike to and after Coach Prince

Coach Prince is proud to hear that the esteemed world famous Pinarello bicycle company of Italy have branded their new 2010 $5,000 USD elite road racer the Pinarello Prince. This is another great honour for Prince, this website and the Prince Method®. Prince is now considering changing his official endorcement from Orbea of Spain to Pinarello and student CP may cancel order for 2010 Orbea Ordu. Prince has been frantically calling Pinarello all week to give his sincere thanks, has left many messages at the reception but has heard nothing back. When they call Prince back it is likely they will state " their respect for one of the all time great coaches blah blah blah.., and in particularly his revolutionary pedal technique (to be outlined in Prince's future book and soon on this website)". "Thank you Pinarello" says a happy prince below pictured on his powerboat in Okinawa.

PRINCE NEWS: Medal Winner Parnell Hails Prince and Shows Appropriate Patronization Towards Luxumbourg

As reported from Chile, South America, Parnell ("the Arctic Fox") in his own words comments on his 3rd place in the Antarctic Ice Marathon:

"The bronze medal position would not have been possible without the learned teaching of my coach from the snowy Northern latitudes Prince Pari. Truly he is a demigod and I expect both Mme. Vuitton and the Emperor to recognize his greatness and buy his book.

"The Arctic Fox wishes to make clear that he is not related in any way to Jacques Fox or anybody else from Luxembourg. He will however be making a significant donation to the foundation to provide swimming facilities for decatriathletes in that Principality. The Arctic Fox was very distressed to learn that Jacques-San was recently forced to make a training swim of over 19,000 lengths of the 10metre olympic pool in the Ardennes forest due to the lack of available facilities"

While on the topic of the Antarctic, Prince witnessed this shocking unprovoked attack (above picture) on a polar bear in Korea over Christmas. This triathlon coaching site is firmly against animal abuse of all kinds, even in Seoul where Prince was a constant kidnap target by some of the local hot pot delicacy restaurants.

PRINCE TOP TIP - How to Take Minutes off your Open Water Swim.

In the footage Prince Shows TI (Total Immersion method®) Swim Coach, the Cutie J Chic (In Wetsuit) how its more efficient to swim using the Prince Method®. TI is the in vogue distance swimming style for triathlon. Prince said afterwards about TI founder Terry McLoughlin, "you are a complete idiot and resemble a blow fish wearing speedos". TI's office in New York has not responded yet! TI's website is www.totalimmersion.net/about-ti and Prince urges us all to bombard them with emails saying how much better Prince swims than McLoughlin.

RACE REPORT: Mark Parnell - Prince's Heroic Arctic Fox takes 3th place in the Antarctic Ice Marathon

Mark Parnell, a Coach Prince protégé, now devoted veteran of the PrinceTechique™ has taken 3th place in the prestigious Ice Marathon on the continent of Antarctica. Parnell, known on the circuit as "Zippy the Arctic Fox", due to outstanding agility and a talent for cunning plans, had been training and living with Coach Prince for several weeks at altitude in a secret refrigerated Tuna warehouse, fitted with an ice bath; a treadmill; and instant freeze specifications. This secret training base is located within a 8 mile radius of Kawaguchiko in the Japanese Southern Alps. Congratulations to Parnell on a heroic personal result and a suburb finish for Team GBR. Parnell stated "It was freezing, especially after I went for a piss and my thermal's fly was frozen open for the last 17 km ". Parnell did 3 days of carbo loading prior to the race which exclusively consisted of Chilean Mendoza red wine. Coach Prince will spend the off season writing his book "Puppy to Demigod Prince".

Ice Marathon Top 10
1. Jason Wolfe (USA) - 4:46:50 hrs
2. Marc de Keyser (BEL) - 4:58:20 hrs
3. Mark Parnell (GBR) - 5:55:59 hrs
4. Jacques Fox (LUX) - 6:07:02 hrs
5. Gavin Melgaard (AUS) - 6:58:09 hrs
6. Manuel Sessink (NED) - 7:17:41 hrs
7. Dennis Gonzalez (USA) - 7:57:14 hrs
8. Jaroslaw Rajtar (POL) - 8:01:28 hrs
9. Terry Denham (GBR) - 8:13:24 hrs
10. Helmut Linzbichler (AUT) - 8:28:15 hrs
See http://www.icemarathon.com/live/183.html for more details on race.

PRINCE'S STUDENT RACE REPORT: ROTA INTERNATIONAL TRIATHLON - Amazing Result and All thanks to Coach Prince Pari (9th Overall and 1st in Age Group)

Below are my Student's notes (written by him C Parry) on his Rota Blue 16th International Triathlon in the Marianas. This is only his 2nd Triathlon, so Coach Prince Pari does it again….Buy my book!!!! Check me on beach:

1.5K SWIM

· Conditions: One foot waves and breakers at start.

· Swim was like being in an aquarium. Crystal visibility and scores of tropical fish. Some people spotted small reef sharks. Tiger Sharks sometimes in area, but not known to attack humans. Records not kept on small mammal attacks so PrincePari stayed at the beach bar with Team Athelonia support team.

· Time was 32 minutes (including approx 2 min transition from wetsuit to bike). Coach Prince was barking at me at Transition area, but did not listen until I realized I was starting run with bike helmet still on.

· Swim overall 16th

40K BIKE

· Therefore started bike in 16th place on steep hills, and a continuous slight head wind

· Time was 1 hour and 12 mins (inc approx 2 min transition) and equates to around 35K per hour average.

· My bike overall was fastest of amateurs at 5th out of 80 (first 4 on cycle are well known pro circuit triathletes)

· 2 minutes faster and would have been same as slower of the 4 pro times. Having lost at least 2 minutes from a brief fall when climbing I know I was on same pace.

· Came back 10 places on bike from16th to 6th

· Using PrincePari's recommended Corina carbon 3 spoke aero wheels (below) really made a difference on this course to a time that surprised even me.

12K RUN (usually 10K for Olympic Distance)

· Started run in 6th place, but hit badly by dehydration (worked hard on bike and forgot to drink), heat, little shade and was like a mountain trail run (which had not trained for). Chronic injury of hamstring hamstring ache stopped rhythm.

· Time was 59 minutes and lost 3 places to 9th.

OVERALL

· 2 hours and 44 mins (taking off the extra 2 k run that was added to Olympic distance, it is close to breaking the holy 2.30 in tough conditions)　 Overall 9th place, and won best finish within 30-39 age group. Was given cuddly panda from Mayor of Rota, which my coach has already tried biting the head off..

· Better than anticipated for 2nd Triathlon. Really delighted.

· Also had great day of private coaching from 2 time Kona Iron Man top ten finisher Hidea Miyazuka who was 4th .

· Could not have done any of this with-out my Coach Prince Pari, Athelonia of Daikanyama, and all my friends at Athelonia.

· Next event is Honolulu Triathlon in May 2010 where my Coach Prince Pari will not be attending due to the credit crunch.

Prince Running Top Tip 2: HOW TO LEGALLY ASSULT OTHER RUNNERS MIDRACE - "LE POODLE CUT"

This is my favorite Olympic track race (Atlanta 1996 1500M) as it shows a perfect and subtle track technique as well as a legal method of assault by the Algerian dog called Morceli . The great, but puppyish Hicham El Guerrouj of Morroco should have seen this coming, so deserved it. The link here is full race, but you may wish to fast forward to 2.30 for the action.  Morcelli's trip is something I teach some of my track followers for when they lack confidence in the middle of a race and have branded my adaption the "Le Poodle Cut". As Morcelli was not disqualified, the precedent stands; it is a totally legal and valid technique. Not useful for poodles as likely to get tramped by spikes from behind. Here is link on Youtube:

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0_i9q-Djy-M&NR=1