15 December 2010


日本語下。Cross training is participating in a different sport once a week as per Prince Fight Club© which is a superb Prince Method© way to enhance swim/run/bike performance. Basically for Prince Fight Club©, one rents a suspicious commercial basement and forms a Fight Club with friends, neighbors, girlfriends, colleagues and their pets. Fight Club is “no” rules street fighting that engages all muscles groups, slow and fast twitch alike and challenges flexibility. "Natural caveman from Paleo era onwards spent most of the day wrestling with man, big cat, dog or lizard" claims Prince. Prince picture (above) is Prince's Fight Club featuring Prince vs. friends: Basil-san (AKA* The Fox) and Evil Bastard Snowman-san. Here is complimentary video of Prince v Pig with flick knife. Fight Club is an outstanding fun and a bonding experience, with useful trauma that builds mental and physical toughness for triathlon and life... The Brad Pitt film of same name Fight Club, is likely to have been inspired by Prince Fight Club©.


26 November 2010

PRINCE RACE REPORT: Rota Triathlon Nov 2010: 4th Place for Prince`s CP but is CP actually SPIDERMAN?

日本下.... The Prince Pari athlete creation that is Chris Parry [CP], completed the Olympic distance race in 2 hour 19 min through the rough seas, mountainous and tropical jungle hell that is Rota Island, through 2 micro tropical storms, during the 17th annual Rota Blue Triathlon. The time was surprisingly faster than many of the historic winning times of past Rota legends: Matsumaru (JPN), Taro Shirato (JPN), Michael Trees (British triathlon record holder)...bizarrely fast and 4th on the day! During the race CP "out-princed" 2 of the 4 professionals into 5th and 6th places; respectively former Kona Ironman World Championship 6th place finisher (Hidea Miyazuka) and Olympian Ayato (JPN). Results are here.

Pre-race and in accordance with the Prince Pa
leo Caveman diet principals, CP avoided the official "bad carbo" pasta party so as to enjoy local protein jungle kills; one Rota veal steak, a breast of Rota fruit bat and a bowl of turtle soup. All was washed down with one bottle of Maclaren Vale La Testa red wine Shiraz 1996 “good carbo” (99 points out of 100 from Robert Parker).

A fine tropical sleep in birthday suit ensued to sound of oceans from 8pm in the Valentio Hotel, until a shocking sharp leg itch that happened to be a monster hairy spider the size of a healthy guava fruit on upper ITB groin muscle at 10.03pm. Stunned by the spider and unsure of its venom, my CP awaited a possible impending death on his balcony for 97 minutes, while giving the monster time to exit. Later identified as the Wolf Spider, the monster was never seen again. “Venomed”, exhausted, and Shiraz marinated, Parry eventually slept several hours until race, but my Prince hypothesis is: Did the spider venom help? CP`s time greatly surpassed Prince`s expectations on this jungle course. Does the Wolf spider have a performance enhancing property like the hornet venom that so supercharged the adorable but average Q Chan (JPN) to unexpected Olympic marathon gold in Athens? Q Chan - Takehashi(below) drank the venom in a drink known as VAAM. Prince will now endeavor to create a foundation in his own memory to study the Wolf Spider venom and its sport educing properties. If the answer is no enhancing properties, does it then mean CP is Spiderman? Prince will be accepting donations (prince@princepari.com) for a one billion Japanese Yen facility next to the Ritz Carlton resort in Phuket, Thailand. Prince gives his congratulations to friends Yumoto, Shirato and Yasunori for 1st, 2nd and 3rd at the race, but strictly recommends they join Team Prince Pari for 2011.

Report ロタ島一期一会 by Chris Parry himself below.

に三日前に島に着いた。それで、ロタ動物園に行ったり(七匹ほど!)、自転車で島を回ったり (2時間)、観光した (1時間)。それ以外に何もすることがなかったからだ!危なくて有名なロタをみた。競争の前日,選手が炭水化物をとるために“パスタパーテイ”に行かなかった。そのかわりに、ロタ島のコウモリと亀汁を堪能した。亀汁は塩味で不味いです。でもタンパク質のための食べた。8寝たが突然、怪物クモが足に乗っ来た。ベランダに飛び出して、い時間半くらい、クモが外に出るまで待ってだ。噛まれたら死ぬかもしれなかったが疲れと赤ワインを飲み過ぎの御蔭で結局すぐねられた。

ぶん、寝ている間に、雲に噛まれたせいで、身体能力が上がったのだろう。」 最近、プリンスコーチは僕がスパイダーマンになったと思い込んでいる。ちょっと面倒くさい。プリンス監督の期待は大き過ぎ

30 September 2010

PRINCE RACE REPORT: Prince Livid as Prince trained Chris Parry Takes Overall 7th Place at Showa Triathlon

Prince trained CP took 7th place out of 450 competitors at the Showa Kinnen Koen Triathlon in Tokyo September 2010. Results are here. Picture above is Prince pondering on his balcony with silver medal CP received for 2nd in age group, but he was furious at CPs fall to 6th place overall after 3rd and 4th places in recent weeks. CP used Prince's tripartite of methods (The Prince Method© of triathlon) in the 3 disciplines that will soon be revealed in his forthcoming book (Prince: Puppy to Demigod), a book that has been delayed as the manuscript suspiciously self combusted while in the dangerous volcanic island of Miyakejima last monthAnyhow, CP trained like a Spartan wolf, humored the Prince Method © teachings, and was powered by Prince Caveman Nutrition, and evening pre race red wine visualization, so why did he not get at least 3rd overall and on podium. CP was 62 seconds behind 3rd place overall, 1/100th of a second behind 6th place and 1st in age group. Princes critique of CP's performance highlights where the seconds were lost:

  • CP’s shirt zip was disgustingly and inexcusably open for race duration which caused flapping drag on bike and swim: 26 secs lost
  • CP’s girlfriend (Nene) had selfishly not replaced batteries on her Braun girl shaver and CP failed to shave legs morning of race, -6 seconds for both swim and bike due to hydrodynamic and aerodynamic drags: 12 secs lost
  • CP failed to follow pre-race ritual of receiving dashing power haircut, thus good looking feel good factor diminished: 11 secs lost
  • Over carbo loaded on Okinawa pumpkin (again girlfriend's error in measurement) on evening before race and carried 230g of additional weight in race: 27 secs lost

Net effect was minus 66 seconds and no overall podium. However, CP was personally delighted and will publish his own race report on his website soon.

06 September 2010

PRINCE RACE REPORT: Prince trained Parry takes 4th Overall at dangerous Miyakejima Tokyo International Triathlon

Stupefying Poodle Coach Prince Pari does it again as Prince coached Chris Parry podiums again with Overall 4th (below) at the Tokyo International Triathlon MiyakeJima, on a sulfur gas dogged live volcano island, 28th August 2010. There were 63 participants for this perilous 41.5km race and another podium for the only one coached by the seismic Poodle. Prince’s Parry was 8th out of the harbor swim section (actually a giant onsen) using the Prince Paddle Immersion Method©, 4th by end of bike portion thanks to the Prince Aero Curl Position© (wind tunnel tested), and then just seconds behind 3rd place using the Prince Zen Forepaw Stride Method©. Prince stated with usual French vanity: “ I cry myself to sleep at night in awe of my explosive genius and carbon fiber components”. Miyakejima island is 180km to the south of Tokyo. This jungle tropical volcano Island is mysterious, and a habitat that immediately spooked Prince's mood into suspicious melancholy with King Kong/Godzilla-esque monster visions. Lava flows have wiped local population out twice this century. While evacuated through much of last decades the island was the setting for the horrendous, yet paleolithic inspiring Japanese film Battle Royal (below right). The race was an easy 1500M swim around the over-sized outdoor onsen they call a harbor. Parry was out of the water in 26:30 and in 8th place. The bike leg is monstrous with 6 laps, each one climbing a volcano twice and descended down through narrow paths around black sharp jagged lava flows, and in a heat of 37C. By the end of the bike Parry was 3rd, but then as before, he blundered by missing a turn into transition and started run along wave beaten cape in 4th, a place he held after a good fight. Breakfast was strict Prince Caveman Nutrition Method© with one baracuda, one watermelon, 5 Okinawan beniimo and one carrot, all eaten 3 hours before race. 17 hours before race, Prince and Parry had a go at an 8 year old blended scotch whiskey (above Red Label) for pre-race visualization which proved useful. Prince and Parry are undertaking further research on its performance enhancing properties before a future groundbreaking report on aged blended scotch and triathlon. Prince recommends this race, the spiritual volcano and hails the kind people of Miyakejima, although he did read that locals feasted on the ubiquitous wild cats, and was disappointed not to find on offer at his ryokan hotel.

23 August 2010

Prince Top Triathlon Tip: HIGH VELOCITY PISSING and MONEY

The debonair poodle Coach Prince (above) undertook a Port-a-Loo use count at the Izu Oshima Olympic Triathlon 2010. His survey elucidated that about 7% of participants (over a season of triathlons, a majority of athletes), rather than pissing at high speed wasted time (an average of 167 seconds) at the Portoloo in either T1 or T2 transitions. The folly as Prince states is that some of the same athletes had purchased Y500,000 ($5,000 USD) highly aesthetic bicycle frame sets to save them 60 seconds (wind tunnel estimates); Y200,000 aero wheels to save 90 estimated seconds, cumulatively Y4,666 ($50 USD) for every Olympic distance second saved (total cost/second saved) . A pissing stop (167 secs) is a scandalous pissing waste of cash at market rates of $50 per second totaling $8,500 USD. Those who say they do not piss at events should be pissing says Prince, if you drink enough to optimize performance on bike, sometime around T2 is normal, even with use of salt tablets. As a macho marking super poodle, Prince pisses around 60 times a day and is a global authority on marking method, marking placement feng sui and marking morality. The art of execution is teaching your inner urinary muscles to execute at high cadence and in aero position during high speed running, swimming and cycling. On bike, pissing at over 33 KM/H ensures clean bike and maximizes impacts on rear drafters. It takes 5 minutes practice every week. In Prince’s soon to be released book (Prince: Puppy to Demigod) under the chapter, Fast Bikes Stink, he outlines: the ethics of pissing to break up drafting cyclists; marking rival’s bike chain sets in T2 set-up (Prince was reprimanded at a Motegi race for this very offence); and, how to optimize piss by using a power meter. The book also comes with a pissing at Kona free supplement. Free extracts from book are on this site from time to time, for instance, please see extract labelled Lazy Bastards. 2 pictures above is Oshima swim start and prince waiting to observe lead swimmers` habits as they lead into Transition 1 (T1).

14 August 2010

Prince Sports Science: Carbo Load on Red Wine and Not Pasta!!!

Prince in July 2010 made a marvelous speculation in his bike and podering room (above). He reviewed 3 years of his athlete’s (Parry’s) training and nutrition log to discover that Parry’s personal best times and breakthrough training sessions were made following lavish red wine evenings. Prince postulated in Popper-esque fashion whether fine claret could actually, no matter how ridiculous it could sound, be a better pre-race carbohydrate source than pasta? An experiment started and over the following 5 days, Parry under Coach Prince guidance trained 11 hours on a set measured training program with a set nutritional intake. He rested on the 6th day, but during the early evening of the 6th day drunk 1.5 bottles of Chateau Mouton Rothschild 2006 (not a vintage year). A binge yielding 1470 calories of energy. This was accompanied by no other carbohydrate source, but lavish amounts of uni and ikura sashimi seafood for protein and omega 3 fatty acids. On the next day, 7th day, Parry ran 10 x 800M at Oda field athletics track Tokyo in 31 C during early evening. His average 800M time was 2 mins and 43 secs.

Parry then undertook a 2nd week mimicking the previous 7 days in terms of training/nutrition but with one exception in nutrition. The change in nutrition concerned consuming a large portion of pasta, diligently measured to 1,470 kcals of energy on the 6th day and no Mouton Rothschild. This was a direct substitution of pasta for the claret wine. The average 800M time was 2 mins and 57 secs during the same time of day, temperature and wind conditions. A whopping 14 seconds or 11% slower with pasta than with red wine under controlled conditions.

Prince urges others to try fine wine sources of carbohydrate and to share performance and wine tasting notes with him. Coach Prince contends the anti-oxidants, tannins and mind visualization benefits allow for outstanding legal enhancing benefits. Similar tests done on mice yielded similar results in 2006 and published by New Scientist periodical. Anthropological research by Prince also concludes that the paleotheic man also enjoyed red wine and that under an influential sports nutritional school of thought known as the "Prince Cavemanism”, red wine indulgence is encouraged. Exact breakdowns of splits, Polar heart rate data, nutrition and set weekly training is available to leading researchers seeking to replicate or falsify this devastatingly brilliant hypothesis.

13 July 2010

PRINCE RACE REPORT: Prince Athlete Chris Parry Takes Overall 3rd Place at Tateyama Triathlon

Sublime Poodle Coach Prince does it again as CP (Parry) podiums with overall 3rd at the Tateyama Triathlon, Chiba, Japan on Sunday 11th July. There were 100 participants for the 25.75km race and only one coached by a Poodle. Prince’s CP was 16th out of the swim section using the Prince Paddle Immersion Method©, 4th by end of bike portion thanks to the Prince Aero Pose Position© (wind tunnel tested), and then just 12 seconds behind 2nd place using the Prince Zen Forefoot Stride Method©. For more information on this competitive point ranking Japan Triathlon Union race, please click here: http://tate-tra.com/index.html. For CP splits to 3rd overall, and all results click here. Prince stated: “I contend there is only one triathlon poodle like me a millennium”. Prince also said he is indebted to the Prince Director of Triathlon Paul Flueron, a world authority. On the race execution, Prince said CP crushed the technical bike course and run (5k in 20 mins) portions, but navigated like a jet ski with no driver in the open water swim (750 m in 12 mins). Below pictures are of podium and CP with Japan's pro celebrity triathlete Yu Yumoto who took 2nd place in the other race (41.5km) that day. Yumoto shared his pre-race dinner with Prince at Prince's local Ebisu Korean nabe shop, and also credits Prince for his sterling result. More pictures to follow. CP's own race report is here.