PRINCE PARI: My Litary Works for 2011. 執筆中です.

The great dog Prince has announced an appetite for completing various literary masterpieces through 2011 – 偉犬プリンスは、今、執筆中です.
Prince`s genius as a coach and artistic director of triathlon execution, a debonair existentialist commentator on Japan, as well as Paleolithic inspired nutritionist has not gone un-noticed. He is commissioned to commence some 4 masterpieces this year。天才的な四部作を構想しています。プリンス​は：

I. PRINCE: THE 107 ZEITGEIST(S) OF TRIATHLON: Essentially Prince`s top 107 tips on podium medal winning in triathlon (5 in 2010)、i.e. How to take more for performance from a red wine habit , than a red wine habit can take from your performance!　プリンスメソッド ：天才的なトライアスロンと選手の生活方法を解説。107時代精神の秘訣です｡

II. KONNICHI-WA PRINCE: This is a work of cartoon brilliance that I Prince believe will finally destroy Hello Kitty© and the evil house of Sanrio© and replace it with the era of Prince inspired "Konichiwa Prince©". "Konnichiwa Prince©" sketch prototype is right. Picture is Prince peeing in Sanrio`s Kitty-Chan flagship fountain and below jumping 27 feet to avoid security. Sayonara Kitty...!プリンス​物語です。​プリンスはサンリオキャラクターに昇格​！ものだから​街のうわさではＨＥＬＬＯ　ＫＩＴＴＹは死んだらしい。

IＩI.PRINCE: THE POCKET MONSTER: A fictional work for submission to the Pokemon company. How Prince, intoxicated by bicycle lube metamorphoses into Purichuu©; "the must have" Pokemon of 2011" . A Pokemon to counter the evil Meowth cat Pokemon as pictured left in yakitori bar with Prince.　プリンス​物語です。プリンスは”プリチュウー”と言うポケモン​に変身​。

IV.PRINCE: A PICTURE BOOK - MY J-GIRL EXPERIENCES: I Prince am a victim of Japanese girls with ravishing elite poodle fetishes across Japan. I am compiling my photographs with these Prince fanatics, many of them in high school uniform! A bonus supplement on how to be adorable for the girls will be included.　プリンス 、東京逆ナンパ​絵本​。　女子高校生​のハート​を掴む方法！​

Please if anyone has ideas for Prince`s stories, triathlon Prince Method©, or wishes to boost my narcissism in any way, please write to prince@princepari.com. 私に褒め言葉を言ってよ。

PRINCE RACE REPORT: Rota Triathlon Nov 2010: 4th Place for Prince`s CP but is CP actually SPIDERMAN?

日本下.... The Prince Pari athlete creation that is Chris Parry [CP], completed the Olympic distance race in 2 hour 19 min through the rough seas, mountainous and tropical jungle hell that is Rota Island, through 2 micro tropical storms, during the 17th annual Rota Blue Triathlon. The time was surprisingly faster than many of the historic winning times of past Rota legends: Matsumaru (JPN), Taro Shirato (JPN), Michael Trees (British triathlon record holder)...bizarrely fast and 4^th on the day! During the race CP "out-princed" 2 of the 4 professionals into 5th and 6th places; respectively former Kona Ironman World Championship 6th place finisher (Hidea Miyazuka) and Olympian Ayato (JPN). Results are here.

Pre-race and in accordance with the Prince Paleo Caveman diet principals, CP avoided the official "bad carbo" pasta party so as to enjoy local protein jungle kills; one Rota veal steak, a breast of Rota fruit bat and a bowl of turtle soup. All was washed down with one bottle of Maclaren Vale La Testa red wine Shiraz 1996 “good carbo” (99 points out of 100 from Robert Parker).

A fine tropical sleep in birthday suit ensued to sound of oceans from 8pm in the Valentio Hotel, until a shocking sharp leg itch that happened to be a monster hairy spider the size of a healthy guava fruit on upper ITB groin muscle at 10.03pm. Stunned by the spider and unsure of its venom, my CP awaited a possible impending death on his balcony for 97 minutes, while giving the monster time to exit. Later identified as the Wolf Spider, the monster was never seen again. “Venomed”, exhausted, and Shiraz marinated, Parry eventually slept several hours until race, but my Prince hypothesis is: Did the spider venom help? CP`s time greatly surpassed Prince`s expectations on this jungle course. Does the Wolf spider have a performance enhancing property like the hornet venom that so supercharged the adorable but average Q Chan (JPN) to unexpected Olympic marathon gold in Athens? Q Chan - Takehashi(below) drank the venom in a drink known as VAAM. Prince will now endeavor to create a foundation in his own memory to study the Wolf Spider venom and its sport educing properties. If the answer is no enhancing properties, does it then mean CP is Spiderman? Prince will be accepting donations (prince@princepari.com) for a one billion Japanese Yen facility next to the Ritz Carlton resort in Phuket, Thailand. Prince gives his congratulations to friends Yumoto, Shirato and Yasunori for 1st, 2nd and 3^rd at the race, but strictly recommends they join Team Prince Pari for 2011.

Race Report　ロタ島一期一会 ｂｙ Ｃｈｒｉｓ　Ｐａｒｒｙ　ｈｉｍｓｅｌｆ　ｂｅｌｏｗ.

温度に慣れるために三日前に島に着いた。それで、ロタ動物園に行ったり（七匹ほど！）、自転車で島を回ったり　(２時間)、観光した　(１時間)。それ以外に何もすることがなかったからだ！危なくて有名なロタをみた。競争の前日，選手が炭水化物をとるために“パスタパーテイ”に行かなかった。そのかわりに、ロタ島のコウモリと亀汁を堪能した。亀汁は塩味で不味いです。でもタンパク質のための食べた。８寝たが突然、怪物クモが足に乗っ来た。ベランダに飛び出して、い時間半くらい、クモが外に出るまで待ってだ。噛まれたら死ぬかもしれなかったが疲れと赤ワインを飲み過ぎの御蔭で結局すぐねられた。

プリンス監督によると競争の結果（４ｔｈ）は信じられないほど素晴らし。「たぶん、寝ている間に、雲に噛まれたせいで、身体能力が上がったのだろう。」　最近、プリンスコーチは僕がスパイダーマンになったと思い込んでいる。ちょっと面倒くさい。プリンス監督の期待は大き過ぎる。

PRINCE RACE REPORT: Prince Livid as Prince trained Chris Parry Takes Overall 7th Place at Showa Triathlon

Prince trained CP took 7th place out of 450 competitors at the Showa Kinnen Koen Triathlon in Tokyo September 2010. Results are here. Picture above is Prince pondering on his balcony with silver medal CP received for 2^nd in age group, but he was furious at CPs fall to 6^th place overall after 3^rd and 4^th places in recent weeks. CP used Prince's tripartite of methods (The Prince Method© of triathlon) in the 3 disciplines that will soon be revealed in his forthcoming book (Prince: Puppy to Demigod), a book that has been delayed as the manuscript suspiciously self combusted while in the dangerous volcanic island of Miyakejima last month。Anyhow, CP trained like a Spartan wolf, humored the Prince Method © teachings, and was powered by Prince Caveman Nutrition, and evening pre race red wine visualization, so why did he not get at least 3^rd overall and on podium. CP was 62 seconds behind 3rd place overall, 1/100th of a second behind 6th place and 1^st in age group.　Prince’s critique of CP's performance highlights where the seconds were lost:

• CP’s shirt zip was disgustingly and inexcusably open for race duration which caused flapping drag on bike and swim: 26 secs lost

• CP’s girlfriend (Nene) had selfishly not replaced batteries on her Braun girl shaver and CP failed to shave legs morning of race, -6 seconds for both swim and bike due to hydrodynamic and aerodynamic drags: 12 secs lost

• CP failed to follow pre-race ritual of receiving dashing power haircut, thus good looking feel good factor diminished: 11 secs lost

• Over carbo loaded on Okinawa pumpkin (again girlfriend's error in measurement) on evening before race and carried 230g of additional weight in race: 27 secs lost

Net effect was minus 66 seconds and no overall podium. However, CP was personally delighted and will publish his own race report on his website soon.

Prince Sports Science: Carbo Load on Red Wine and Not Pasta!!!

Prince in July 2010 made a marvelous speculation in his bike and podering room (above). He reviewed 3 years of his athlete’s (Parry’s) training and nutrition log to discover that Parry’s personal best times and breakthrough training sessions were made following lavish red wine evenings. Prince postulated in Popper-esque fashion whether fine claret could actually, no matter how ridiculous it could sound, be a better pre-race carbohydrate source than pasta? An experiment started and over the following 5 days, Parry under Coach Prince guidance trained 11 hours on a set measured training program with a set nutritional intake. He rested on the 6th day, but during the early evening of the 6th day drunk 1.5 bottles of Chateau Mouton Rothschild 2006 (not a vintage year). A binge yielding 1470 calories of energy. This was accompanied by no other carbohydrate source, but lavish amounts of uni and ikura sashimi seafood for protein and omega 3 fatty acids. On the next day, 7th day, Parry ran 10 x 800M at Oda field athletics track Tokyo in 31 C during early evening. His average 800M time was 2 mins and 43 secs.

Parry then undertook a 2nd week mimicking the previous 7 days in terms of training/nutrition but with one exception in nutrition. The change in nutrition concerned consuming a large portion of pasta, diligently measured to 1,470 kcals of energy on the 6th day and no Mouton Rothschild. This was a direct substitution of pasta for the claret wine. The average 800M time was 2 mins and 57 secs during the same time of day, temperature and wind conditions. A whopping 14 seconds or 11% slower with pasta than with red wine under controlled conditions.

Prince urges others to try fine wine sources of carbohydrate and to share performance and wine tasting notes with him. Coach Prince contends the anti-oxidants, tannins and mind visualization benefits allow for outstanding legal enhancing benefits. Similar tests done on mice yielded similar results in 2006 and published by New Scientist periodical. Anthropological research by Prince also concludes that the paleotheic man also enjoyed red wine and that under an influential sports nutritional school of thought known as the "Prince Cavemanism”, red wine indulgence is encouraged. Exact breakdowns of splits, Polar heart rate data, nutrition and set weekly training is available to leading researchers seeking to replicate or falsify this devastatingly brilliant hypothesis.

PRINCE TOP NUITRITIONAL REVIEW: The Caveman Diet and its Dangers

Prince recommends with caution the above book (top): The Paleo Diet for Athletes by a great triathlon coaching legend, but a coach who more recently has become a dangerous lunatic cannibal. His name is Joe Friel.

The Paleo Diet is a nutritional plan based on the ancient diet of wild plants and meats that various dogs and their cavemen habitually mauled and devoured during the brutal Paleolithic—a cannibalistic fleshy period characterized by poodle supremacy of about 2.5 million years duration that ended around 10,000 years ago with the development of agriculture and the invention of the dog leash. Prince`s hypothosis is that Friel’s (a triathlon coach`s) anthropological over study of this period made him overly ravenous for red meat and later insane.

However Friel, in the early part of his book is able to explain beautifully and succinctly how such “original man/dog” foods (pre agriculture and animal domestication) help athletic performance. Unfortunately, then the book meanders on unnecessarily, distorted by Friel`s possible dependence on beef jerkie and months living in a gooseberry bush, through 370 pages of nonsense: on topics such as cavedog family values, that man descended from gowa fruit, and why Hello Kitty and friends need to be ethnically cleansed from America. By the end of the book, Friel has become unstable, rabid and unstoppable as he advocates an irrevocable modern and violent return to Amazonian style cannibalism as described in his favorite 1980 film Cannibal Holocaust (right). Friel at an unknown location (above left)

Prince therefore summarizes the diet’s key points succinctly together with his views. Thanks to Prince there will be no need for anyone to ever risk their sanity and family`s safety by buying or reading this disturbing, but at times brilliant work. Prince`s unabridged summary on Friel’s nutritional advice for athletes less his savagery and witchcraft is below:

1. Eat as much lean meat (pref. fish and chicken) as you wish for protein. Picture right is a famous Paleolithic woman (Princess Mononoke) riding white poodle while hunting forest baby meat.

2. Eat no bread, no pasta and no bad carbs generally

3. Instead of bad carbs, enjoy vegetables, fruit, roots, and nuts for carbohydrate intake, and eat as much as you wish.

4. Dedicate your life to excluding all grains, legumes, dairy products, salt, refined sugar, and processed oils (no exceptions)

5. Prince’s modification of Friel's diet is red wine consumption. Prince’s anthropological research has clearly identified red wine on cave wall drawings as drawn by cavemen who clearly drank red wine and probably a bottle a day.

6. The result for Prince and his athletes is weight loss, muscle gain, instant recovery from workouts, ability to train up to 15 hours a week without breakdown, crushing performances over rivals, an inability to stop boasting, and magical red wine induced race visualization and imagery.

For those who do wish to read book in full, please be warned. Prince like Friel has developed a sudden desire for fresh red meat without care for those living beings in close vicinity. Only last evening CP was awoken to find the great poodle gnawing flesh from his open cycle wound.

On a pleasant final note, Paleo dishes are also delicious. Picture above is Prince together with celeb Chef Gordon Ramsey donning a Cordon Bleu apron and preparing a caveman compliant Filet Mignon salad; one to be washed down by a superb Lafitte Bordeaux '97.