30 September 2010

PRINCE RACE REPORT: Prince Livid as Prince trained Chris Parry Takes Overall 7th Place at Showa Triathlon

Prince trained CP took 7th place out of 450 competitors at the Showa Kinnen Koen Triathlon in Tokyo September 2010. Results are here. Picture above is Prince pondering on his balcony with silver medal CP received for 2nd in age group, but he was furious at CPs fall to 6th place overall after 3rd and 4th places in recent weeks. CP used Prince's tripartite of methods (The Prince Method© of triathlon) in the 3 disciplines that will soon be revealed in his forthcoming book (Prince: Puppy to Demigod), a book that has been delayed as the manuscript suspiciously self combusted while in the dangerous volcanic island of Miyakejima last monthAnyhow, CP trained like a Spartan wolf, humored the Prince Method © teachings, and was powered by Prince Caveman Nutrition, and evening pre race red wine visualization, so why did he not get at least 3rd overall and on podium. CP was 62 seconds behind 3rd place overall, 1/100th of a second behind 6th place and 1st in age group. Princes critique of CP's performance highlights where the seconds were lost:

  • CP’s shirt zip was disgustingly and inexcusably open for race duration which caused flapping drag on bike and swim: 26 secs lost
  • CP’s girlfriend (Nene) had selfishly not replaced batteries on her Braun girl shaver and CP failed to shave legs morning of race, -6 seconds for both swim and bike due to hydrodynamic and aerodynamic drags: 12 secs lost
  • CP failed to follow pre-race ritual of receiving dashing power haircut, thus good looking feel good factor diminished: 11 secs lost
  • Over carbo loaded on Okinawa pumpkin (again girlfriend's error in measurement) on evening before race and carried 230g of additional weight in race: 27 secs lost

Net effect was minus 66 seconds and no overall podium. However, CP was personally delighted and will publish his own race report on his website soon.






5 comments:

  1. Prince, you've gotta lighten up on CP; he wasn't designed to lead a life of serbitude. Buy him a bottle of red and begin preparations for the next race.

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  2. Hi Underground Git,
    His red habit is like a Serbian Vodka habit. One day he will get a Serbian Mustache ;)

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  3. nice brog Chris, your dog has amazing coaching skills..

    motozo

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  4. Anyhow, CP trained like a Spartan wolf, humored the Prince Method © teachings, nhl jerseys shop and was powered by Prince Caveman Nutrition, and evening pre race red wine visualization, so why did he not get at least 3rd overall and on podium. 2012 nike nfl jerseys CP was 62 seconds behind 3rd place overall, 1/100th of a second behind 6th place and 1st in age group.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Because he did not have an NHL Jersey! Go now and buy! buy! Buy! ;)

    ReplyDelete