23 August 2010

Prince Top Triathlon Tip: HIGH VELOCITY PISSING and MONEY

The debonair poodle Coach Prince (above) undertook a Port-a-Loo use count at the Izu Oshima Olympic Triathlon 2010. His survey elucidated that about 7% of participants (over a season of triathlons, a majority of athletes), rather than pissing at high speed wasted time (an average of 167 seconds) at the Portoloo in either T1 or T2 transitions. The folly as Prince states is that some of the same athletes had purchased Y500,000 ($5,000 USD) highly aesthetic bicycle frame sets to save them 60 seconds (wind tunnel estimates); Y200,000 aero wheels to save 90 estimated seconds, cumulatively Y4,666 ($50 USD) for every Olympic distance second saved (total cost/second saved) . A pissing stop (167 secs) is a scandalous pissing waste of cash at market rates of $50 per second totaling $8,500 USD. Those who say they do not piss at events should be pissing says Prince, if you drink enough to optimize performance on bike, sometime around T2 is normal, even with use of salt tablets. As a macho marking super poodle, Prince pisses around 60 times a day and is a global authority on marking method, marking placement feng sui and marking morality. The art of execution is teaching your inner urinary muscles to execute at high cadence and in aero position during high speed running, swimming and cycling. On bike, pissing at over 33 KM/H ensures clean bike and maximizes impacts on rear drafters. It takes 5 minutes practice every week. In Prince’s soon to be released book (Prince: Puppy to Demigod) under the chapter, Fast Bikes Stink, he outlines: the ethics of pissing to break up drafting cyclists; marking rival’s bike chain sets in T2 set-up (Prince was reprimanded at a Motegi race for this very offence); and, how to optimize piss by using a power meter. The book also comes with a pissing at Kona free supplement. Free extracts from book are on this site from time to time, for instance, please see extract labelled Lazy Bastards. 2 pictures above is Oshima swim start and prince waiting to observe lead swimmers` habits as they lead into Transition 1 (T1).

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